Here we go again! Every month a group of bloggers gets together to give you little snippets of what life is really like in their house when no one’s watching. (Except for you – because you’re actually a little fly on the wall…out of reach of the flyswatter, hopefully!)

Here’s your chance to see what went on in two households, as I spend three weeks visiting my daughter in California and get to meet my new grandson for the first time. When you are through with this blog, please check out the links below for more dirt!

Even if you’ve been doing your calisthenics, a fly can only travel about six miles in a day, so you probably just hung out at my house while I was in California. If so, this is what you would have seen:
The whole Deadwood series.
The whole Lonesome Dove series.
The whole Streets of Laredo series.
The whole Dead Man’s Walk series.

You also probably got to listen to a lot of fascinating phone conversations, because The Man talks on the phone more than most adolescent girls. You now know more about hunting than you ever, ever wanted to know. And conspiracy theories.

In the meantime, however, your relatives in California were chilling on the wall at my daughter Brenna’s house, where it is much more entertaining.

March 1st finds us scurrying out the door on our way to the Dr. Seuss breakfast at the girls’ elementary school. Taunee is in jammies (because it’s also pajama day) but Sophie is rocking a new outfit, complete with a furry vest. Yes indeed, we hit the mall yesterday – a big treat for me, since I live up in the hills, far from any decent shopping.

You won’t have long to wait. We’ll be back soon to load the “Better than Crack Brownies (though to be politically correct, at school Sophie calls them Better than Crackle Brownies) and jugs of milk into the car for Sophie’s class, to celebrate her birthday. Those 4th graders will go through two pans of brownies and almost two gallons of milk!

The house is decorated for tonight’s slumber party. Sophie and I made lots of hot pink and black paper roses to go with her pink and black zebra theme.

I hope you brought your little fly ear protection. Five girls can make a LOT of noise during a slumber party. Here’s a link to my blog, if you’re dying to know how to make a zebra cake! Sophie’s Zebra Party

You may have noticed that Taunee is a source of constant entertainment. Here are a few of the things you’ve heard already:

Brenna: “Taunee, what’s that blue stuff in your hair?”
Taunee: “I don’t know – what’s it taste like?”

Taunee is in her nightgown. The dog is sniffing her butt and she’s giggling.
Brenna: “Taun, don’t let the dog do that!”
Taunee: “Whaaaat? I LIKE it.”

Baby, screaming loudly
Taunee: “He sounds like a fire drill!”

And in the “Things You Don’t Expect to Hear” category:

Taunee: “Did you put an apple in my lunch?”
Brenna: “No. They were too big and you wouldn’t have time to eat anything else.”
Taunee: “Awwwwwww.”
Brenna: “But I did pack you grapes and a Cutie”
Taunee: “Yay!”
Brenna: “And I didn’t pack you any chocolate today”
Taunee: “THANK you!”

In explanation, she OD’d on chocolate recently and learned that it was better going down than it was coming up. For now, she’s a no-chocolate girl. So I’m guessing that she’ll eat all the jelly beans this Easter and her big sister, Sophie, will get to eat all the Cadbury Mini Eggs. Score, Soph!!!

I’m annoyed that I live in an area of the country that doesn’t have a food specialty. You know…a thing. In the Redding area, olives are big. Instead of wine, you can go to an olive tasting. If they had martini tastings to go with the olives, I’d be one happy woman.

Here’s the best part, though. Friday is always tri-tip day. It seems like every business has their own barbecues set up outside, slow roasting beef all day. This produces a little chunk of heaven that is wrapped in foil and (for a price) sent home with you. It’s oh, so good. Brenna made some twice-baked potatoes and I made a salad, and we were all in a food coma by 8pm.

Sophie taught herself the “Cup Song” from Pitch Perfect in one night. Oh, to have that kind of memory and retention again. The song is stuck in my head – probably forever. She also amazed and delighted the admiring crowd (us) by performing the tripod and singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time. Repeatedly.

And as for baby Mack?

Brenna’s voice called down the hall: “Chris?” My mother instincts were immediately on alert by the tone – especially since the second and third calls were higher pitched and louder. Chris went running. A few moments later, Brenna came into the kitchen, looking a wee bit shaken. A little SNAKE had just been slithering around in her bathroom sink. What the… I don’t want to know how that could happen, but I was grateful that there was only a day left before I flew back home, and I waited to take a shower until I was safely back in my own bathroom. I’m not afraid of snakes, but in the sink? Huh-uh. No way.

And now, I’m home again. See all the stuff on the tray? Can you guess what I get to do tomorrow? Ugh. I had a very casual doctor, and put off this whole colonoscopy business for years without getting lectured. But now I have a new doctor, and somehow I find myself bustled into this clinic and that, having all the tests I’ve been avoiding forever.

I have my fears about this. I’m terrified of anesthesia – not just that I might not wake back up, but that if I do there’s no telling what I might say. I’ve thought of so many inappropriate things I could spill my guts about that now I’ve practically guaranteed it’ll happen, and the medical staff will probably be laughing with friends over drinks tomorrow night, saying “You’ll never guess what this woman said today…”

Thinking happy thoughts. Thinking of my happy place. Puppies. Babies. Recipes.

Whew. That lovely procedure is over. I’m home – a little shaky, violated, but glad to have that behind (heh heh) me. Lovely nurses, a hysterically funny anesthesiologist, warm blankets, and a delicious lunch afterwards. Not to mention a sweet power nap! Yes, I could do that again.

And on this cheery note, I’ll pass on the recipe for Sophie’s favorite cookie. We made them while I was visiting, and the whole batch disappeared almost immediately. I’m sure you’ve all had these, but if you think about it, they look like something a fly would LOVE.

Fly away and check out these great blogs!

Baking In a Tornado
Stacy Sews and Schools
My Brain on Kids
Just a Little Nutty
Menopausal Mother
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
The Momisodes
Follow Me Home
Moore Organized Mayhem
Finding Felicity
Caramel Living