You know…I’ve tried my best to be gracious and welcoming, inviting you into my house month after month. But you are beginning to get on my nerves, staying too long and bringing all your friends and relatives with you to buzz around my face when I’m working. I hate to do this, I really do, but unless you leave your pack of hooligan besties at home, I’m going to have to bring out the big guns!
Thank you. That’s more like it!
You have no problem coming and going as you please, since I’m in and out of the house a hundred times a day. Weeding, picking, watering…garden season is in full swing. I’ve picked over 20 pounds of raspberries, with many many more ready to ripen. You get swatted at every time I make jam, don’t you? At least you know enough to ditch the kitchen when my husband points the vacuum wand at you!
The back porch smells like a skunk because I’m drying garlic. I wish you could smell it here when I start dehydrating garlic and onions for my spice mixtures. Whooooeeeee. Smells like an Italian restaurant exploded. But in a good way, of course.
Most of the time I’m pretty cheerful. Pollyanna-ish, even. Except when I’m being a raving bitch. It was in the high 90s Wednesday, which is sure to make me grumpy, and I was feeling very sorry for myself when I surveyed the mountain of dishes in my kitchen. So…I wrote a post. I’m pretty sure anyone over 40 can relate, and if you’re younger…your day will come! Wednesday Whine
It’s not all work and sweat though. My friend Sue sent me over a bottle of wine, a fluffy, feathery wine stopper, and a box of Jelly Bath. I knew exactly what to do with the wine and stopper, of course, but hadn’t tried the Jelly Bath before. I Googled it and decided our septic tank was too sensitive to put it in the tub, but OH.MY.WORD…what a foot bath! It just took a little to turn a big bowl of hot water into a squishy, heavenly, indulgent soak. The mixture stayed hot for a looong time, and I loved every second of it.
The hammock got washed and hung for the summer. We put yellow jacket traps in all the surrounding trees (yes, it totally looks ghetto) and they’re leaving me alone to swing and read in peace. Sweet.
Totally random, I know, but in case anyone is wondering, this old gal wears Spongebob jammies. On second thought, if anyone IS wondering, that’s really creepy. Let me know so I can ban you from my blog. That is all.
Last month I showed you my “weeder’s tan” – that strip of tan across my back where my shirt rides up and my pants ride down as I’m bent over weeding. I’ve found a way to eliminate that, and it doesn’t require any stinky self-tanner!
Ahhhhh.
I hate to use the word “inhibited”, because it sounds so uptight, but I was certainly a modest young woman in the early ’70s. Definitely not a “dance naked to the music under a black light” kind of girl. Now I am coming into my own and discovering how liberating it is to sun worship (aka: picking peas and weeding) without a pesky shirt in my way. As long as I stay in the upper left quadrant of my garden, I have total privacy. Well, at least I thought I did until I saw YOU buzzing in the kitchen window. See anything you like, fly?!
As a fly on my wall, you’re privy to everything that is going on – not just the funny and entertaining stuff. So you’ve seen a lot of eyes wiped and noses blown recently, because our beloved German Shorthaired Pointer, Heidi, is in her final days. The vet gave her a month, but I think we will be taking her for the long ride in the next few days. She’s full of cancer, and I won’t let her suffer.
We’re going to bring her home and lay her to rest by the chicken coop where she can guard her feathered friends.
Escorting the prisoner back to the flock.
She’s had the best life any dog could hope to enjoy – hills to run, gophers to unearth, chickens to herd, and lots of love. I know I’ll see her at the bridge.
I’m sure it smacks of passive-aggressive behavior, but since my husband never reads my blogs, I feel perfectly justified in poking fun at him. There are no small children here with their clever little thoughts, so I have to find my material where I can.
Whoops!
He’s been losing weight, and is too frugal to buy new jeans. He went out to gather eggs and came back up the porch with both hands full of eggs and his pants beginning to fall down. By the time he got over to the counter they were around his ankles, and I just happened to have the camera in front of me. Oh yes…I got the shot even though I was laughing so hard I thought it would be all blurry. Actually, I got two photos, but the next one has him turning around glaring at the camera (okay, at me!) and I don’t think anyone wants to see that!
That’s all I’ve got, so this would be a good time to go visit these wonderful blogs:
Baking In a Tornado
Stacy Sews and Schools
Just a Little Nutty
Menopausal Mother
The Sadder But Wiser Girl
The Momisodes
Follow Me Home
Moore Organized Mayhem
Hypnotic Bard
Spatulas on Parade
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn’t Play Well With Others
I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I honestly did a little of both. I’m still giggling over your clothing optional home. I never ever would have guessed there was that side to you.
But I’ll tell you again how very sorry I am that you’re going through such a horrible time with your dog. My heart truly goes out to you.
I never thought there was that side to me either, Karen! But you know…it’s fun to find out that there are still some new facets to be cut at any age!
Thank you for the love.
Topless and pants dropping. All in one spot. I’m not sure if I admire you or I’m jealous.
Also, sorry about your dog. Sending some healing energy your way.
I know, we’re weird like that.
And thank you for the healing energy!
HUGS HUGS HUGS for your sweet doggie.
Thanks, Stacy. She gets lots of those, but more are always welcome!
I was laughing the whole way–loved the pic of the hubs with the pants down–until I read about your little fur baby’s illness. Oh, my heart aches for you. We’ve been in that situation several times and it is so hard. Sending you big hugs, love and light.
Thank you so much. It’s just heartbreaking – she’s seriously the sweetest dog ever. She just loves everyone! Sniff.
I love your picking vegetables outfit! Honestly, that would be so wonderful to have such privacy. My husband reads my blog and I would absolutely post that picture! Haha.
On a sadder note, I am so sorry to read about your dog. They are our fur babies. What a wonderful life you’ve given her. I’m sending you love and light for the coming weeks.
Thanks, Michele. Just loving her while we can.
And re: gardening…I’m already planning out my garden next year so the peas, corn, and pole beans are strategically placed to give me even more private space. Oh oh…think I’m addicted!
Pretty chickens. And the photo of your dh, OMG that really made me laugh. My dh does read mine so I can’t get away with that. Plus a few of his employees read it as well. THAT would not be good.
Thanks, Dawn. It’s a good thing they’re pretty, because they’re in their third year of laying, and sure aren’t very generous with the eggs!
Poor, poor Russ, he is so abused, well maybe not if you’re weeding topless 😉 I loved the picture of Heidi escorting the chicken. She is such a sweet girl that I know it’s going to be very difficult for you to let her go. Don’t work too hard in this heat!
I can hear you snickering even as you say that. Yep-the poor man has it so rough 😉
Isn’t that a great photo? It looks like she and the chicken are having a friendly conversation and going for a stroll.
I am so sorry to hear about Heidi. Hugs to you! She’s a beautiful lady that lived a wonderful life. The picture of her and her chicken pal is just precious.
Kudos to you for the new attire!
If we were secluded enough it sounds like a wonderful days…. plus hammock. A slice of heaven on earth.
Ah, Meg…you’re so sweet.
You can come swing in our hammock any time – the guest room is all yours!
Sounds like lots of clothes coming off of at your house, at both ends! I’m so sorry about your doggie. I hope she is out of pain very soon.
Thank you for sharing your life with the flies! 🙂
😀 97 degrees here – better off than on!
I love Fly on the Wall, but I have to admit I hate sharing my life with the darn things. I broke my electric bug swatter the other day trying to get one, and am now resorting to the old fashioned kind. Sometimes if one is really annoying me I can be deadly with a dishtowel, but then I have to put it in a bleach wash. Yuck.
Great day in the life of a fly!!! Had a good laugh!
Hah, Cheri. Real flies don’t get off so easy around here…but always happy to amuse you 😉
Heidi kept Ken company when he worked on the fence, she is off to keep Ken company again.
Very soon, Pam. And yes, that was so strange – she’d never left the property before. I remember how panicked we were when we realized she was missing. Ken will take good care of our girl for us.
I am jealous of your wine stop. And the hammock, my childhood friend had one and we would sit on it for hours and talk about everything, just seeing the pic brings back so many fond childhood memories
Hammocks are wonderful as long as the bees will leave me alone! We used to have one of the enormous matrimonial hammocks when I was growing up. You could lie sideways in it and cover all the way up – heaven! Now you have ME reminiscing.
This is a wonderful post… I love it and was giggling through most of it.. Love the way you decided how not to get a weeder’s tan.. I would do that but I think my neighbors would l haul me off to the funny farm or jail which ever comes first or else die from the laughter that it would cause… Love that you can post of picture of your husband… I still have the one of my husband in his boxer shorts… sweep the floor in our house in Africa.. Don’t tell him that I still have it.. I told him I destroyed all the evidence :).. but it is our little secret…
I am so sorry about your dog, although I am not an animal lover I do know that pets in families are like another person in their life and they are part of your family…
Heading over to read some of the other post… Love being a fly in your life.
Thank you for the sweet comment, Marlys. Come hang out anytime – I promise not to swat at you!
This is definitely good enough for me Lorinda.
i am the newest fly and I am buzzing around haphazardly now because I am drunk with laughter.
Seriously you weed with no shirt on? *eyes wide open and waiting expectantly for your answer*, lol.
Barbara
http://www.barbara1923.com
Lagos, Nigeria
Oh, Barbara…doesn’t everyone? 😉 And yes, I do. Not ALL the time, but as often as I can get away with it. Try it, you’ll like it!